Monday, May 14, 2012

The MYTH of Perfection

When I started reading alot of blogs, I was so inspired.
So many like minded moms out there who looked at life like I do-
an endless creative endeavor, juggling kids, business, husband, home and more.

What I didn't see coming was the perfection blogs.
I've not only been inspired by bloggers, I've grown jealous of others.

I mean, is life really all roses and paper laterns and beautiful gourmet dinner parties (home cooked, of course!) set with a perfectly whimsical yet functional table?

Life of a Perfection Blogger (as I see it)

She wakes up and has some time to snap a few photos of her sleeping children. Children always look like angels, with no crusty eyes or noses, no drool, and no crap leftover from last nights dinner in their hair.

Somehow Starbucks coffee appears in hand - maybe brought in by the handsome stud AKA husband. He has bright white teeth and always dresses in the perfect combination of indie rocker/business man/prepster. Oh, and he leaves hand written love notes on all corners of the house.

The house? It is shabby chic, always looks clean with a side twist of casually constructed chaos - a pillow a little off base, a lipstick stained coffee cup in the sink. However, everything else could be straight outta Better Homes and Gardens. Chevron prints on the wall, assembled bohemian finds from world travels. Spotless white couch. Fresh flowers, always. No coffee stains, no unmade beds.

The perfection blogger gets dressed in a vintage yet modern outfit. She always looks like she just threw something on, snapped a few photos (oh, this old thing?) and goes about her day. When actually it was a carefully choreographed dance of getting dressed, curling/straightening her hair into submission, applying the red lipstick (none on her teeth, obviously!) and then glancing her doe-like eyes into the lense of the camera.

By the way, with indie rocker/businessman/prepster husband at work, who is taking all of these darn outfit pictures, anyways? Does every blogger really have a tripod? I mean, really?

The day is spent sewing curtains, making homemade jam, painting with the angelic children, and blowing bubbles in the backyard!

OF COURSE everything is blogged about and photographed! (She does these things for her people really blow bubbles and make homemade jam and not blog about it? Not photograph it? Of course not!) Moments that should have been photographed are re-staged, because the moment was too cute to not show off.

Even a simple trip to the bookstore or the market to buy eggs is a lesson in how life should really be! Glowy-eyed children dreamily sashaying through the aisles dressed in their own vintage yet modern outfits. No tantrums and certainly no screaming. No begging "please? please? mom? mom? mom? mom?" to buy something through breathless, choked sobs. Never.

It seems to me that everytime I say "girls, picture!" in my children's head this means "girls, scatter!"
But not the perfection bloggers children. They are trained experts at this. Tilted heads, half smiles, "oh-I am-so-much-cuter-than-you!" toothy grins.

Dinner is a carefully documented meal - always healthy, fresh and green, with perfectly molded cupcakes for dessert. Baths and bedtime for the children - not before they do some porch swinging and candle lighting. After kids are in bed, the perfection blogger curls up on the couch with the adorably silly puppy, homemade vanilla chai in a mason jar and reads until she can't keep her eyes open.

Bedtime for the perfection blogger. The never wrinkly never crinkly bed is almost too pretty to sleep in. She sheds her modern yet vintage outfit and throws on a silk set of pajamas, her gamine body (no stretch marks, lumps, bumps, or unsightly varicose veins here, folks! No saggy breasts, either - although she breastfed, of course. All good mothers do.)

The perfection blogger also found time to scrapbook and blog about her perfect day, leaving thousands of other women feeling inadequate and sad.

Is this real life?
Is this how your life looks?
Because this certainly is not how my life looks!

I struggle to keep my home in any type of order.
I make a good dinner maybe once or twice a week, and the other nights my kids eat sandwiches, soup, and macaroni.
I never have people over for dinner, and when I do, I make lasanga.
My children are so far, so so far, from angels. They usually have dirty faces even though I'm constantly wiping. My oldest has a knot in her hair that's been there since last week, and I can't get it out. So, we do ponytails.
I often feel like I don't have enough support in my parenting.
I struggle to balance work and home. Most days, my glue gun will sit waiting for me most of the day, and I run to it to sneak in a few minutes here and a few minutes there of work.
Some days I don't have time to take a shower. (But deoderant and clean teeth are a must. :)
My kids watch Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba on Netflix. Lots.

Thats my reality, folks.

I so desire to fill my home and life with beauty.
I so desire to make beautiful things and I enjoy reading blogs.
I love seeing how other people live.
But I'm tired, very tired, of reading blogs that make me feel like I don't add up.
I don't think anyone really lives like perfection blogger.
So why does she try so hard to make us think she lives like that?



  1. this is oh so great. and oh so true! i mean really, blowing bubbles and making homemade jam? love this. and for the record, i do not have pee stains ... BUT, coffee stains and unmade beds. yes, yes i do.

    1. You are so great! I love your blog. You are far from a perfection blogger. :)

  2. If Starbucks magically in my hand every morning, I would be a happy, happy lady. I feel you on becoming obsessed with perfection after reading some blogs...I'll admit, I do post every time the husband leaves me a cute note or I clean the house (mostly to prove that I'm not a gross slob ALL of the time) but I like to write about all the hilarious (or sometimes just annoying) imperfections in our life, too.

  3. Hey Andrea. :) Although some of this is tounge in cheek I obviously get annoyed too, with bloggers acting like their lives are super duper perfect. We all have messy houses (right?!) and crabby kids some days... I LOVE seeing other people are "Real" too! I love your blog, btw!!

  4. might need to ditch a few of these blogs you are reading then - they don't seem realistic at all! ;) and thanks for your thoughts, friend. i know you are REAL and i love that about you, friend. perfection should never be the expectation in blog or real world! love you!

  5. This was the most perfect blog ever! Definitely my COREY MUST READ of the day! I'm saying this because, well, I too live like you! I however am not a blogger....Yet. Lol. But perfection is what most people strive for! (I tend to TRY to at least ATTEMPT this as well) WHY!? Yes, perfection looks pretty, and can be fun, whimsical, and flawless. But, for me anyway, PERFECTION is NOT my PRACTICALITY!
    *messy baby faces-CHECK
    *constantly wiping these faces-CHECK
    *bouncing up and down and around, juggling full time 2 year old (3 of them) crafting and posting for my "shop on the side" laundry, dinner, husband, SHOWER, oh the list......just hoping and thinking to myself, wow, maybe I can relax for a bit-...ALL...CHECK
    *however, this relaxing thing doesn't EVER go as planned-TRIPLE DOUBLE CHECK*sigh*
    But what can I say! I truly couldn't ask or wish for a better life.
    I am not perfect, and will never be---And yes, my still....a mess ;-P