Wednesday, January 28, 2015

HERE WE GO: MESSY and WILD in 2015

Hello, blog world! Etsy world and business world!
So, 2014: not my favorite year.
Lets just leave it at that.
I had a lot going on in my personal life ( and while I usually do....)
this time, I needed to close the shop and focus on the core of just
gettin' through the year.
(...and I did, barely....
right, mom?)
Anyways, now that it's we are.
A fresh new year,
and a fresh new direction for Ellarye Boutique.
I want this year to feel really organic and get back to the basic roots of why I am an artist and a creator. I see the world differently; all artists do. I did take a few magical trips this past year to see oceans....California and Florida...and was uber inspired. To pare it down : I am inspired by nature...I am inspired by the ocean.
I love being outdoors and that is when I feel the most inspired to create.
Someday I am going to take up oil painting... ;)
but for the meantime I'll stick to the medium I know best: fabric.
I think I've learned a lot about myself this past year.
I am a non-traditional business owner.
I spend some time once and a while reading other shop owners/small biz owners blogs.
And many of them are similar....
they stick to a schedule, to a routine.
It's the whole "wake up at 5:45 every day....go to bed at 10:15 every night" deal.
The thought that if I do not do that as a mom, or as a business owner I am not fulfilling my best purpose. Now I know there are different personality types and I understand why many people work best this way...
I have come to realize: I do not.
I feel chained to schedules. I feel dead inside when I cannot weave through my day as it comes.
I am disorganized, messy, creative.
I am a jumble of thoughts and deeds and words and art.
And that is me, and it is beautiful.
I am here to tell you I have been a mother for 8 and a half years,
and I have never lived as many other moms have lived...
with those planners and post it notes and perfectly doodled calendars.
At times I have wanted to and I have tried!
Maybe life would be simpler if I was more organized...
but I think some individuals have trouble living like that.
It is not ME.
My mind does not work like that.
At least, that is what I have been telling myself.
I have run a completely successful business doing it my own way.
You don't have to fit into a mold, or follow anyone else's plans for your day to be successful.
That is merely surviving.
Thrive. Be a mermaid. Be a little crazy. Be wild. Be adventurous. Be free. Roam.
Be unpredictable. Make something.
Do what you need to do, but take time to ENJOY this life.
As I've thought about this year, 2015, and the crazy that 2014 brought me:
it will reflect in my shop.
I've changed, and I won't try to fit into a box of what I am supposed to be.
I won't allow my shop and the outlet of my creativity to fit into a mold.
I am going to be taking risks and trying new things.
I see so many copycats of my original designs on Etsy but it doesn't bother me.
We all know who invented the rolled rosette bouquet, don't we?
So this year, hang on for the ride.
And I hope this inspires some of you out there to take something and claim it.
If you want to be a writer, BE it.
If you want to be great, BE it.
If you want to travel, DO it.
If you think you are an artist, you ARE.
There you go. I just gave you the power.
Be messy and go out there and do something cool.
As for me, I'll be here embracing everything unorganized, messy and wild........
lets take this ride of 2015 together.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Why it is OKAY to feel BEAUTIFUL AKA Why I lost weight when I stopped dieting.

Yesterday I got a text message from a friend. She is brunette, tan, thin and lean with perfect teeth and great style. The text was about an unflattering picture she had seen posted of her on Facebook. She told me how it destroyed her day (this photograph) and how she loathed herself.
How ugly, how fat, how imperfect she felt.

I looked at the picture.
I saw a beautiful young woman, stylishly dressed with a bright smile.
 This was the photograph that had ruined her day?
I wrote her back.
"You need to realize that you are beautiful. You need to accept that, and you need to move on."
As I sent the text I thought to myself, how GLAD I am I no longer feel like that.
I know EXACTLY how she felt.
I know how it is to HATE the body you have been given.
To feel ugly, to feel unworthy, and most of all, to feel fat.

I honestly never feel like that anymore.

At 28 years old, I am not the thinnest I have ever been.
I am a good 15-20 pounds from what would probably be described as "goal weight" for my height.
I have had two babies...and I have stretch marks. My stomach is not flat.
I don't have perfect arms or thighs.
I am not completely fit,
and I get dark circles under my eyes when I work too hard with not enough sleep.
And I love how I look.

I am finally free from the burden of feeling ugly.
I am finally free from the burden of "feeling fat."
Why? How did this happen?
One day I woke up and just realized something.

The starving myself, the dieting, the excessive exercise,
the tears (many of them), the journals I have FILLED with self hatred for my body....
the conversations I had with so many friends about how fat I was ...
I was tired of it.

So, I released it.

It was really that simple for me.
I had had ENOUGH.
Enough is enough!
No more having a wrecked day because my stomach is not completely flat and toned.
No more dreading trying on clothing, fitting rooms, and SUMMER itself.
I wanted to be FREE.
And so I am.

It started with food.
I decided I was sick of dieting, counting calories, and hating myself for cheating on my diet plan.
I let myself eat whatever I want.
Nothing is off limits!
And when I gave myself the freedom to stop obsessing over calories and food,
I lost desire to eat all of the food I thought was "bad" all of those years.
I let myself eat cake, ice cream, and for the first time in my life, one bite is enough for me.
I am no longer feeling guilty from that one bite.
Because I know it's okay, and I know it's not the last time I am ever going to eat cake.
And guess what ... I actually lost weight when I stopped dieting.

For the first time in my life, I love getting dressed every day.
 I look forward to doing my hair, and I get dressed UP every single day.
I can't even remember the last time I wore sweatpants all day...
I just don't do it anymore.
For me, that 45 minutes in the morning is necessary.
I feel the best about myself when my hair is done, makeup is done, and I have on cute clothes.
This is a practical step I would recommend.

Take PRIDE in yourself!
CARE for yourself.
Put on some red lipstick....some cute jeans....a cute shirt.
Learn how to style your hair.
Take pride in the body you present to the world every day.
Accept that you look great, and then forget about it.
Let go of the OBSESSION.
God did not create us women to hate ourselves.

I feel complete freedom when it comes to body image.
It has been over the course of many, many years.
I can finally look in the mirror, and agree with the people who have told me I was
pretty all of those years.

It's not arrogance....
it's the quiet confidence of a woman who is completely comfortable in her own skin.

I am here to tell you ladies that it is okay to know that you are beautiful.
It is OKAY to know that you are attractive.
It is OKAY to like yourself, flaws and all.

It is okay to not have a perfect body,
and to feel like a million bucks.

I wish this freedom for all of the girls I know who struggle.
I was anorexic and bulimic and weight obsessed for so many years that my heart goes out to those beautiful women who are reading this who feel so ugly, unworthy and fat.
YOU need to find that acceptance for your body.
YOU need to release the hatred and find what you love about yourself.
I am telling you ladies, it CAN be done....
The freedom and happiness it produces can't be explained, only experienced.

I want my daughters to feel like this...
I want them to confidently accept their beauty,
and release their self doubt and body hatred.
I never want them to spend years of their life hiding from the world because they hate how they look.
What a waste!
I tell my girls every day how gorgeous they are.
Not to pump them full of pride,
but because they will be constantly told and sent messages through the media that they are not good enough. I want them to be so confident in themselves that those messages bounce off of their backs.
I want them to feel pretty,
and then I want them to forget about it,
and go live their lives.

That is what I want for you, too.
Start today.
Stop hating yourself and picking out the flaws,
because I am not looking at your flaws.

Turn over a new leaf in 2014 and accept yourself.
True freedom can be found, I promise you.

To read more about my eating disorders, read this post I wrote a while ago...
it continues to be one of my most popular posts: FAT?

Sunday, September 1, 2013

12 Reasons why we had the BEST SUMMER EVER.

 1. Daddy was home.
(milwaukee zoo, june.)
 2. We played at the beach during the day ...

 and went for walks there at night.
(North Beach, August.)

 3. We got covered in COLOR and laughed our butts off
(Color Run, June.)

 4. We went fishing about 4,375 times.
(Our Secret Fishing Spot, July.)

 5. We got O+H for breakfast way too much.
(Grandma's house, July.)

 6. We ate roasted sweet corn 
(Racine County Fair, July.)

 7. We witnessed the most magical parade in history

 8. And the girls met a real live wood nymph
(Ren Faire, August.)

 9. The kids first Brewers game...
even if the Braun sign is slightly embarrassing in retrospect.
(Miller Park, July.)

 10. We dressed up like cowgirls and went to get ice cream...
(Georgie Porgies, June.)

 11. We spent the 4th with family and got really tired and really full and really happy.
(Parade, Main Street, July.)

 12. Elle's birthday party met all of her (6,300,053) expectations.
(Grandpas house, August.)

fishing, july.
 olive garden, fathers day
 Ren Faire, August.
county fair, july.
 Panda Express, August.
Ren Faire, August.

yup. 'twas one for the history books.

autumn here we come.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Elle's Art Party!

Elle turned 7 this month, 
and to celebrate we had an Art Party! 

 fabric bunting and big tissue paper balls hung from the trees.
We had two tables packed full of craft supplies!
 My lifelong friend Heather came from Milwaukee to join us...
she has been my friend since (literally) birth!
 Guests were asked to add something to these canvases, which 
will hang in Elle's room as a special reminder of the day 
(once I get around to putting them up!)
 Crafts we did - 
painted rocks, 
made jellyfish mobiles, 
and decorated cupcakes
 the trampoline was a hit!
 Littlest Pet Shop cake!

 Present time!
 So much awesomeness - thank you everybody!
 Ice cream cone pinata!
 All the kids got at least one turn!

Thank you to everyone who came out!
We had such a beautiful August afternoon.
Special thanks to my father in law Pete and his wife Angela...
they let us use their backyard for the party!
Talk about a beautiful view of the lake....

it was great to see so many friends, new friends and old friends...
thank you everyone for being a part of our lives and celebrating Elle's 7th with us!

thank you to my awesome sister Katelynn for taking pics of the day.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Pretty In Pink: Mandi's Fairytale Wedding

When I think over the past 2 years and all of the weddings I have 
been a part of, a few brides will always stick out in my mind as my favorites-
and Mandi is one of those brides!
We hit it off from the start. Mandi is one of the sweetest girls I've ever worked with and
one of the things I loved about her was how hands-on she was during the design process.
I love a bride who knows what she wants, the image she wants her bouquets to fit, 
and our styles matched up perfectly.

Without further ado, 
here is Mandi and Nathan's 
Pretty in Pink Fairytale Wedding...

brooch bouquet was handmade by the brides mother!
I made the mens boutonneires and the bridesmaids bouquets...
I love the handmade elements and details of this wedding.
Nathan and Mandi are gorgeous together and I wish them all the best, 
and many many years of wedded happiness.


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