Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I have a secret to share.

Want to know a secret?
Sure you do.

Lean close.
I'll whisper it to you.
Everything you need to be happy?
You already have it.


I'm going to tell you a little bit about how I know this to be true
in my own life.


One cold, rainy, dark day in late September 2011,
I had the worst day of my life.
I've had alot of bad days,
days I thought were the worst,
but this took the cake.
Police showed up at my house...
my husband went to jail.
I didn't know how long he would be gone,
but they were saying years.
(Ended up being 18 months.)

The next morning, I got up.
I got dressed. I did my hair. I put on earrings.
I took myself to the store to get laundry detergent and milk.
I cried.
 I cried at the store.
I cried while I drove home.
I cried while multiple friends and family stopped over.
My world had just come crashing down around me
and my future was hanging by a thread
but guess what?
I had these 2 little people looking at me.

As much as I wanted to,
as much as I thought I would,
I did not crumble.
I did not spend hours in bed.
I did not stop doing dishes, stop getting dressed in the morning.
It took a few weeks
but I started smiling again.
My life was dramatically different
and I was now forced to be a single mommy,
but I did not retreat under the covers.
I learned the greatest life lesson ever in the following weeks and months.
Everything I needed to be happy,
I've always already had it.

It doesn't matter where we live -
in the Ritz Carlton or crammed into a single bedroom.

It doesn't matter what happens in the course of a day -

it doesn't matter what other people think about
 my life,
my marriage,
my choices or
my past.

I have all I need to be happy.

I've gotten a single comment from multiple people
since this ordeal began nearly a year ago.
People tell me-
I've heard this countless times -
"You are handling this so well.
If it was me, I wouldn't be able to face it."

this particular sentiment always makes me cringe.

you don't know how strong you are until something happens
that you never thought you would deal with.
Don't say you would crumble under this kind of pressure.

Life is too precious, too beautiful,
to sulk, grumble, cry and complain through.

This is the secret to a happy life.

Thanking God for everything.
Thanking God for His grace.
Seeking out the beauty in everything.

A sweet ice cream cone.
Giggles from my girls.
Sand between my toes.
The sunlight peeking through the leaves like lace.
A long afternoon with a great book.
A good hair day.
A late autumn afternoon, when the sky is heavy with navy,
the trees full of crimson and
the air full of spice.
All of these things are still beautiful,
no matter how sad my life might seem,
no matter what the future holds,
even though it seems uncertain.

There is beauty in tragedy.
You just have to find it.



1 comment:

  1. What a lovely post. My heart is thanking you for the sweetness today! ♥