Tuesday, April 23, 2013

How I Stay in Love with my Husband.

I've been with my husband since I was 19 and he was 25.
(our 19 and 25 year old selves!)
(I am now 27 - he's 33) and as you can probably guess,
alot of changing took place in both of our lives personally and as a couple in those 8 years.
We got married in January 2007 when our daughter Elle was 5 months old...
I was 21, he was 27.
And we have been through hell and high water as a couple.
Addictions, seperation, prison,
being broke, jobless, having a premature baby, 
dealing with my severe post-partum depression, having to crash with my parents for
 a few months - these are a few of the issues we have faced as a couple.
We've had bad years. (!!)
Now after 8 years I feel like we are living the best of our years together.
I love love love spending time with my hubby and I didn't always feel that way.
So, through trial and error....
Here are a few things I've learned about staying in love with your husband.
1. Go on dates.
Remember when you were first spending time with your hubby...how you looked
forward to it? You need that one on one "special" time together.
I hear alot of couples say that renting movies on the couch together counts as date night...
and while thats great to do, I would say NO! Thats NOT a date.
(Thats just spending time together.)
Put on some cute clothes...do your hair. Put on perfume,
get yourself pretty like you did when you were dating.
Go out for dinners...go to movies...spend the day together doing something
WITHOUT kids every few weeks. It's not selfish! It's necessary.
2. Ignore his (annoying) quirks.
My hubby and I are soooo different!
I'm very laid back, (okay...I'm a little blonde) ...
I'm not too particular about anything.
Chads the opposite! He is such a perfectionist
and he likes things done a certain way.
It could potentially cause me tons of annoyance..
but after 8 years, I've learned that we work well together this way.
I just laugh when I think he is being overly OCD about something...
and I've taught him to take a chill pill when it comes to the less important things...
Pick your battles...ignore his quirks. They make you unique as a couple.
3. Talk.
We talk all the time, about everything.
I've always thought that this is was one of our strongest attributes in our marriage.
We communicate all the time during the day ...
not just what is going on in "life" but what is going on in our heads.
I'm not good with holding things in...if I'm mad or upset or confused I let him know right
away, and vice-versa. That way we can work through it quickly and move on.
4. Go to bed together.
Can't stress this enough!
Try to go to bed together, at the same time.
(Unless you work seperate shifts or it's just not possible...)
this works wonders for our marriage
5. Focus on his POSITIVES.
The things that made you fall in love with him...
and tell him what they are.
If you think he's super cute, let him know.
If he's gentle with your kids, let him know.
If he's great with the financial stuff, let him know you appreciate it.
Focus on his positives,
gratitude goes a long way in a relationship!
I feel like my marriage is rock solid, and with Christ at the center,
nothing can sway us.
Staying in love over many years and hard times is work,
don't let anyone tell you that it is not....
but if you put in the effort,
 great things come from it....
and it's so worth it.

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